„YOU’RE NOT LISTENING” de Kate Murphy

Dintotdeauna m-am certat cu bărbatul meu pentru că <<nu ascultă>> atunci cînd îi vorbesc. Evident, răspunsul lui era să-mi repete cuvânt cu cuvânt ce spusesem pînă atunci 🙂 (doar suntem produsul unei educații în care memorarea era pe primul loc!!!), iar eu nu mai aveam replică.

Numai cînd am citit cartea „You’re not listening” scrisă de Kate Murphy, am înțeles și am știut să-i explic științific de ce este important să ne ascultăm unul pe celălalt.
Sunt recunoscătoare bărbatului meu că a înțeles această nevoia a mea, cu mult timp înainte de publicarea cărții. 

„Listening requires, more than anything, curiosity.

By listening, more than any other activity, plugs you into life.

Listening helps you understand yourself as much as those speaking to you.”
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„People in long-term relationships tend to loose their curiosity for each other.
Not necessarily in an unkind way; they just become convinced they know each other better than they do.
They don’t listen because they think they already know what the other person will say.

But no matter how well we try to listen, or how close we feel to another person, it’s important to remember we can never really know another person’s mind.

People can change how they are in relationships when they learn to listen and be emotionally responsive to others.”
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„Parents can make the same sort of mistakes, assuming they know what their children like or don’t like and what they would or would not do.”
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„To listen does not mean, or even imply, that you agree with someone.

It simply means you accept the legitimacy of the other person’s point of view and that you might have something to learn from it.

It also means that you embrace the possibility that there might be multiple truths and understanding them all might lead to a larger truth.”

Published by: Harvill Secker, LONDON, 2020