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„MODERN LOVE” de Kerry Egan

 
„The Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung argued that when we fall in love with someone, what we really fall in love with are the characteristics that are in us, but that, for whatever reason, we cannot access.
 
This is what marriage does better than anything else. 
 

It forces you to look hard at what you want to be and acknowledge that someone else, someone you love, cannot give it to you.

Even after spending 25 years with that person, the only way to get there is to change yourself. Sometimes this change feels so impossible that instead of admiring the traits you want, you come to resent them.

Falling in love shows you who you could be, but marriage shows you who you still are.”


Kerry Egan is the writer of „On living.”

Modern Love can be reached at modernlove@nytimes.com

 
 
 

"From my books" I will tell you what impressed me and what I have learned.

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