RAISING BOYS by Steve Biddulph

Steve Biddulph is my Australian friend that I have not yet met. The reason why I consider him my friend is that the teachings from his book were remarkably helpful to me as a young mother living in Romania in the year 1999. After reading Biddulph’s book, “Raising boys”, it helped me have a better understanding of the growing stages young boys go through.

First stage = Birth to 6 years old
This is the stage during which, boys need a lot of love in order to learn to love. At this point in a boy’s life, the presence of a motherly figure is crucial. Likewise, the father could sometimes have over this role.

SECOND STAGE = 6 to 14 years old
At this stage, boys, influenced by their internal drives, want to become men. This is the moment when the fatherly presence takes point.
The father should communicate with his son about his future from both a professional and personal point of view. The father should tell stories about his own childhood without forgetting to mention the less joyful situations. Recounting bad memories helps the son to understand that life is not perfect and to relate to his father’s past experiences.

THIRD STAGE = 14 years old to adulthood
At this stage, the adolescent needs the presence of male mentors in his life, in order to complete his journey toward manhood.
The role of the parents at this point is not as important as during the childhood stages, therefore they should find Male Mentors for their son. It is preferable that the mentors be friends of the family because this way they will share the same moral views as the parents. 

Why will the adolescent listen to male mentors? Because they will treat the teen as a future adult, while the parents, no matter the age of the son, will still see him as a child.

“A sixteen year old will not always listen to his parents-his inclination is not to. But a MENTOR is different.
This is the time for the youngster to make his “GLORIOUS MISTAKES”, and part of the mentor’s job is to make sure the mistakes are not fatal.”

I believe that finding good mentors and trusting them to guide your son with virtuous values is a very hard task.

Publisher: Celestial Arts, 2004