“LISTEN TO THE MARRIAGE” by John Jay Osborn

My marriage was in the right place when I bought this book.
Besides that, I was happy that I got to visit once again one of my favorite places, “BOOK SOUP,” and my husband enjoyed his shisha at the restaurant next door. And, of course, he was happy that I did not talk. 🙂 

I didn’t talk because I started reading the book I just bought “Listen to the marriage.” And I was hooked.
Even though the subject was painful (Gretchen and Steve, married with two children, are on the brink of divorce), I felt joy.
I felt joy because there is a Sandy in the world (a marriage therapist) that can make Steve and Gretchen remember why they got married, how they fell in love.
There is a Sandy in the world who can help them communicate.
There is a Sandy in the world who can show them that it is ok to be vulnerable.

“I try to speak for the marriage because neither of you is.

This isn’t a marriage where someone is beating the other one up. Or where someone is gambling away everything the family owns, or someone can’t hold a job because they’re drunk or high.
As a matter of fact, this is a marriage that, in material terms, has been very successful. Steve made money, you got tenure, you have two smart, terrific children.

You put something together here, and it took effort.
Work.
You built a marriage.

That’s the side I’m on, that’s who I speak for, because neither of you does.
The invisible thing you built.
It’s something.”

And I was glad that John Jay Osborn, the writer of the book, is talented at describing an American family’s crises that I, a girl from Romania, got to understand.
And I was happy that a marriage that started for the right reason of LOVE can still go on after encountering obstacles.
Because in my romantic soul, I believe that a marriage like this needs to survive and thrive.

Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, New York, 2018