“FINDING ME” by Viola Davis

When I think of Viola Davis, in my mind comes her image as Annalise Keating (the character she play in “How to get away with murder”), taking off her wig and showing herself vulnerable.
For me it was a powerful image and reading Viola’s book, “Finding me”, I have learned that she was the one asking for this scene to happen.

It was tough to read her words about her childhood, parents and siblings.

“Without knowing, I had already been imprinted, stamped by their behavior and all that they were.
As much as I wanted my life to be better, the only tools I had to navigate the world were given to me by them. How they talked. How they fought. How my mom made concessions. How they loved and who they loved shaped me.”

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“Shame completely eviscerates you, destroys any sense of pride you may have in yourself.”

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“Once again more secrets. Layers upon layers of deep, dark ones.
Trauma, shit, piss, and mortar mixed with memories that have been filtered, edited for survival, and entangled with generational secrets. 
Somewhere buried underneath all that waste lives me, the me fighting to breathe, the me wanting so badly to feel alive.
But this is the journey!”

Reading about her work ethic I was extremely impressed:

“Working hard is great when it’s motivated by passion and love and enthusiasm.
But working hard when it’s motivated by deprivation is not pleasant.”

“If you hit big when you’re young and turn down a six-figure salary, You.Are.Privileged. 
But struggle is defined by not having choices, and the actor who takes the Geico commercial to get their insurance has just as much integrity as someone who doesn’t take it waiting for their Academy Award-winning role.”

“Here’s the truth. If you have a choice between auditioning for a great role over a bad role, your are privileged.
That means not only do you have a top agent who can get you in, you are at a level that you would be considered for it.
Our profession at any given time has a 95 percent unemployment rate.
Only 1 percent of actors make $50,000 a year or more and only 0.04 percent of actors are famous, and we won’t get into defining famous.”

“For every one actor who makes it to fame there are fifty thousand more who did exactly the same things, yet didn’t make it.”

I am happy for Viola that she has her own family:

“Coming from a childhood of trauma I needed a radical transformation.
I hadn’t been taught how to navigate the world.
I hadn’t been taught what could help me grow or live better.
I’d been taught how to run from the world.
I’d been taught how to hide and fight.
I hadn’t been taught how to love and be still.

I was no longer solely defined by the family that raised me and my childhood memories.

I could create my own family and I could create it intentionally with what I had learned.”

Kindle, 2022